calling, strength, and a heart

The other day I found myself reading about David: a man after God's own heart. It was challenging me to consider why he was called that despite the fact that his life was a messy one. The more I started to think about the truth of that, the more curious I've become about who this man really was. Especially as I find myself realizing his experience is strangely familiar to the things in this life that I experience, struggle with, and long for. Here's what's been sinking in ...

We meet David as this young kid. We learn he's the youngest in his family and spends his days mostly alone out in the field watching sheep. He's pretty much invisible to the world, even his father doesn't consider including him when he presents his sons to Samuel. But I don't think David felt alone out in those fields. My guess is that he loved his time there because somewhere along the way He discovered the mystery of being in an intimate, conversational relationship with God. I think he pondered and marvelled and wondered at who God is. And I think He interacted with God, I think David felt God's nearness. So although not very many people were aware of this boy, God was. In fact, God was singling him out and uses Samuel to do it. Suddenly this little shepherd boy is called from the fields and annointed king. That's pretty crazy! But here's what I can't get over: the next thing he does is go back to the fields ... Why in the world would God call David to be king then? Why not wait until Saul is dead? How did David live with the knowledge of a calling that he couldn't live out? In fact, instead of becoming king, he's brought in to serve the king. That's so backwards. I mean, David didn't get to know the end of the story like we do. Was he ever left so confused? Knowing that God called him, but left with only the memory of Samuel's oil to confirm it.

About this point in my train of thought I had the words 'strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord' run through my head. Then it fell on me ... David was strong. Not just physically (although killing those wild animals is pretty impressive), but he was strong in belief. He was the only man who possessed the confidence to confront Goliath. And because of that, a small sheep boy with a little stone unhesitantly stood up in the name of his God, killing a giant man of war. But the reality in the midst of that story is that David is still waiting. He's not king, he's still just a boy with a harp and sling. And now he's also the one who killed the giant. I have a feeling that he's starting to get a reputation for his 'strength', the kind that no one else can seemingly match. Probably one of the reasons Saul's affections for David took such a dramatic turn. Which enters David into the next 'waiting' season of his life. Although this time he's become the target, spending his days running for his life.

So here's a conclusion I'm coming to ... It's not the end (the fullfillment of what God has promised) that strengthens our belief. I think it's the years in the field where no one knows we exist, the place where we discover a deeply personal God and where we find ourselves intimately interacting with Him, that changes us. It's this place that leads us to the day where we hear God's calling over our life. And I think it's the waiting that strengthens one's belief in a God who is and will always be faithful to accomplish His perfect will.

After an intense journey, David does become king. A 'messy' one at that. And God loves him and pursues him through all his 'waywardness'. In the end? King David is known as being a man after God's own heart. Perhaps that's the very thing God is inviting us, right now, to be?