"Grace like rain."
Those words have been softly falling on me. I find grace to
be a mysterious thing. It’s real, abundant, all-encompassing, and constant; yet
it is also fluid. Grace feels like
rain.
Lately I’ve been extra watchful; focused and searching
intently for grace. It’s so enjoyable … like going for a walk in the woods and
noticing all the hidden beauty it holds. I have found myself filled with a
sense of reverence as I realize that this is all from Him. Gifts. Blessing.
Grace.
The more aware I have become of His gifts, the more my soul
is realizing that this grace never ends. He never stops lavishing us with good
things. Never. And it is here in this place that I feel it … grace is like
rain. It falls on me and it cleanses me. But I haven’t received grace like
rain. I want it to be more concrete than that. I want the grace moment to be a
package, something tangible, something I can cling to with tight fists,
something I won’t lose. But grace moments don’t work that way. You can’t keep
them. They are like rain. You absorb it. They are meant to sink into the soil, not
stay a puddle on top.
I spend a lot of time trying to keep grace in a jar. I take
His gifts and I hoard them, panicked by the threat that I could lose this.
Ignoring the fact that none of it is mine forever. That there is no one I will
never have to say goodbye to. That time evaporates the gifts we are clinging to.
And so I get preoccupied trying to hold onto something fluid and forget that
grace is like rain, and it’s raining and it never stops raining.
Why do I think it’s going to stop raining? Why do I think
there’s an end to His blessing? Why do I hoard His gifts rather than absorb
them? What would happen to me if I opened my hands and let the rain wash over
me? What would grow if I let the hard soil soak up the rain instead of trying
to capture it in a jar? Would gratitude and joy be unavoidable? I want to find
out.
As I read back over the moments of grace I’ve named, I see
how fleeting they are. Already they are gone. It was a brief moment; now it’s a
memory. I can’t keep holding that moment in my hands – but, wow, do I spend a
lot of time trying. I love Josh Garrel’s lyrics that say, “And to let go of all
you cannot hold onto, for the hope beyond the blue.”
Let go even of the blessing … and feel His blessing continue
on and on. Feel the rain each day and grow to believe that it will never end,
that the goodness of God never ends. Soak it in. His mercies are new every day.
Brand new and incredibly fresh.
