I've had several "I could blog about this" moments recently, but never the energy to actually write anything. I've been tired- mentally, physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. I've been somewhat aware of this, but the need to keep going didn't leave me much time to realize it. Sometimes you just don't know you're thirsty until you start to drink. And sometimes you don't stop to drink until God puts a glass in your hand and tells you to.
This is what happened to me. In the middle of the middle school movie night (in which I was half-dead), I got a phone call asking if I could do some emergency dog-sitting the next day. Now this isn't typically something I jump at the opportunity to do, but staying alone in this particular house held quite an appeal. This home has become somewhat of a 'haven' for me. A place I've regularly gone to empty and always left full. I've often spent the night here and every time have slept deeply and woken rested -and for someone who is plagued with 'unexplained sleeplessness', this is a miracle. Really.
I'm on my 3rd and final day of this suprise 'retreat'. So now that I'm 'rested' enough to write, I've decided to do just that. I've thought some over the many things that have gone through my head these past few weeks. Things having to do with what it really means to be 'still and know that He is God', seeing the goodness of the Lord in the land of living, and most recently- foolishness vs. wisdom. And although I could talk awhile on each of those things, they aren't what's consuming my thoughts.
This weekend I started the next portion of the material I've been going through. It's focus: sin. So what has been consuming my thoughts so far is two things: 1) I'm a worm and 2) My God is greater still. As Isaac Newton said, "I know two things: I am a very great sinner and Christ is a very great Savior." I read this in the intro to this material: "If we are not aware of our sin, if we are not learning to practice the spiritual pathways to overcoming sin, then the sanctification process is aborted and we remain immature and at the mercy of our sin." I mean, wow. Go re-read that.
My feet are just getting wet right now, not enough to say too much about it all. And actually, as I go deeper, probably not the sort of thing I will publicly say much about. Sin is a dark place, and one cannot see it for what it is quickly or casually. Nor do I anticipate being able to easily articulate what it is He reveals to me. So I'll leave that topic for now.
As a final thought, if you're still reading, I'm going to put a little plug out there to encourage these little "retreats" with God. Stop and drink! For the sake of all that God is doing in your life- stop, rest, listen to Him. Take a day, a week, a month, a year ... whatever it takes, to seek Him with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind. And if that's impossible and your circumstances have bound you in (which is legit in many cases), then seek Him through that suffering. Remember: "God did this so that they would seek Him and find Him, though He is not far from any one of us." -Acts 17:27
